He's tried and failed over the past year to clean up on his own, and has checked himself into a 5-month rehab program (inpatient except on weekends) that does non stop therapy, alternative therapies, and exercise. I admire him for that and we have a good laugh and seen good together.
I was hoping that after the program we could slowly start to date. The question is, I am on anti-depressants for when I was being bully at work.
I am worried that he's not stable enough, though, and that the relationship won't stand a chance until he's really back on his feet (including finding a new job). I get the time has passed but your situation is interesting. One year sobriety in my book is strongly recommended. I mentioned this one evening as we were discussion his issues and recovery.
If an addict cannot handle being sober for one year, I would fear for your physical safety and your sanity if you were dating him as caring for someone who continues to relapse is exhausting. I said to him that I didn't mind going through it as I came out of it as a stronger person. I recently met someone and it was going quite well.
You may hear wild stories of drug-fueled sexscapades or run into slippery characters from their past.
All of these can be difficult to understand, so you have to honestly evaluate and communicate your tolerance level.
These provisos are in place to give addicts a fair shot at lasting recovery and to protect the people they might date from falling for someone who is unhealthy, unavailable or worse.If you believe addiction is a sign of weakness or a character flaw, dating a recovering addict probably isn’t for you.Sometimes if your alarm bells are ringing, there is good reason.For instance, depending on the recovering addict’s particular needs, you may need to avoid drinking or using drugs around them or stop going to certain types of social events.They may need to meet with a sponsor or attend support group meetings at inconvenient times and your support in encouraging them to do so is essential.Healthy Recovery, Healthy Relationships Most recovering addicts aren’t strangers to therapy and, as a result, have spent a lot of time working on themselves and their relationships.They have learned critical relationship skills, including how to identify, process and communicate their emotions and to set personal boundaries while respecting the lines drawn by others.The thing with me and my past partner two years ago now was that he would make all these promises, assure me he would take his medication and get help and do better, but I never saw him making a genuine effort to get clean, at least while we were together. He now said he cannot date me as its part of his recovery program and I am on medication. I was honest about my past and shared I would have 9 years of recovery in January.If he had even gone to al anon meetings and tried hard with their programme, I would have stayed with him. We had only been on four casual dates so I had not shared the exact details of my past because they are painful and personal.Some are deeply spiritual people whose lives are infused with meaning and purpose, while others volunteer in their communities or have interesting hobbies that keep them grounded.Because recovery is a lifelong process, recovering addicts are in a perpetual state of self-improvement.